Real teachers grade papers in
the car, during commercials, in faculty lounges and have even been seen grading
papers in church.
Real teachers cheer when they
hear April 1 does not fall on a school day.
Real teachers drive older cars
owned by credit unions.
Real teachers clutch a pencil
while thinking and make notes in margins of books.
Real teachers can't walk past a
crowd of kids without straightening up the line.
Real teachers have disjointed
necks from writing on boards without turning their backs on the class.
Real teachers are written up in
medical journals for size and elasticity of kidneys and bladders.
Real teachers have been timed
gulping down a full lunch in 2 minutes, 18 seconds. Master teachers can eat
faster than that.
Real teachers can predict
exactly which parents will show up at Open House.
Real teachers never teach the
conjugations of lie and lay to eighth graders.
Real teachers know it is better
to seek forgiveness than to ask permission.
Real teachers know the shortest
distance and the length of travel time from their classroom to the office.
Real teachers can
"sense" gum.
Real teachers know the
difference among what must be graded, what ought to be graded, and what probably
should never again see the light of day.
Real teachers are solely
responsible for the destruction of the rain forest.
Real teachers have their best
conferences in the parking lot.
Real teachers buy Excedrin and
Advil in bulk.
Real teachers will eat anything
that is put in the workroom/teachers lounge.
Real teachers know secretaries
and custodians run the school.
Real teachers hear the
heartbeats of crisis; always have time to listen; know they teach students, no
subjects; and they are absolutely non-expendable.