George Washington's Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior In Company and
Conversation

For additional material on George Washington, check out the Mt.
Vernon Ladies' Association.
- Every Action done in Company, ought to be with Some Sign of Respect, to
those that are Present
- When in Company, put not your Hands to any Part of the Body, not usually
Discovered.
- Shew Nothing to your Friend that may affright him.
- In the Presence of Others Sing not to yourself with a humming Noise, nor
Drum with your Fingers or Feet.
- If You Cough, Sneeze, Sigh, or Yawn, do it not Loud but Privately; and
Speak not in your Yawning, but put your Handkercheif or Hand before your
face and turn aside.
- Sleep not when others Speak, Sit not when others stand, Speak not when you
Should hold your Peace, walk not when others Stop.
- Put not off your Cloths in the presence of Others, nor go out your Chamber
half Drest.
- At Play and at Fire its Good manners to Give Place to the last Commer, and
affect not to Speak Louder than Ordinary.
- Spit not in the Fire, nor Stoop low before it neither Put your Hands into
the Flames to warm them, nor Set your Feet upon the Fire especially if there
be meat before it.
- When you Sit down, Keep your Feet firm and Even, without putting one on
the other or Crossing them.
- Shift not yourself in Sight of others nor Gnaw your nails.
- Shake not the head, Feet, or Legs rowl not the Eyes lift not one eyebrow
higher than the other wry not the mouth, and bedew no mans face with your
Spittle, by approaching too near him when you Speak.
- Kill no Vermin as Fleas, lice ticks &c in the Sight of Others, if you
See any filth or thick Spittle put your foot Dexteriously upon it if it be
upon the Cloths of your Companions, Put it off prvately, and if it be upon
your own Cloths return Thanks to him who puts it off.
- Turn not your Back to others especially in Speaking, Jog not the Table or
Desk on which Another reads or writes, lean not upon any one.
- Keep your Nails clean and Short, also your Hands and Teeth Clean, yet
without Shewing any great Concern for them.
- Do not Puff up the Cheeks, Loll not out the tongue rub the hands or beard,
thrust out the lips, or bite them or keep the Lips too open or too Close.
- Be no Flatterer, neither Play with any that delights not to be Play'd
Withal.
- Read no Letters, Books or Papers in Company when there is a Necessity for
the doing of it you must ask leave: come not near the Books or Writings of
Another so as to read them unless desired or give your opinion of them
unask'd also look not nigh when another is writing a Letter.
- let your Countenance be pleasant but in Serious Matters Somewhat grave.
- The Gestures of the Body must be Suited to the discourse you are upon.
- Reproach none for the Infirmities of Nature, nor Delight to Put them that
have in mind thereof.
- Shew not yourself glad at the Misfortune of another though he were your
enemy.
- When you see a Crime punished, you may be inwardly pleased; but always
shew Pity to the Suffering Offender.
- Do not laugh too loud or too much at any Publick Spectacle.
- Superfluous Complements and all Affectations of Ceremonie are to be
avoided, yet where due they are not to be Neglected
- In Pulling off your Hat to Persons of Distinction, as Noblemen, Justices,
Churchmen &ec make a Reverence, bowing more or less according to the
Custom of the Better Bred, and Quality of the Person. Amongst your equals
expect not always that they Should begin with you first, but to Pull off the
Hat when there is no need is Affectation, in the Manner of Saluting and
resaluting in words keep to the most usual Custom
- Tis ill manners to bid one more eminent than yourself be covered as well
as not to do it to whom it's due Likewise he that makes too much haste to
Put on his hat does not well, yet he ought to Put it on at the first, or at
most the Second time of being ask'd; now what is herein spoken, of
Qualification in behaviour in Saluting, ought also to be observed in taking
of Place, and Sitting down for ceremonies without Bounds is troublesome
- If any one come to Speak to you while you are sitting Stand up tho he be
your Inferior, and when you Present Seats let it be to every one according
to his Degree
- When you meet with one of Greater Quality than yourself, Stop, and retire
especially if it be at the Door or any Straight place to give way for him to
Pass
- In walking the highest Place in most Countrys seems to be on the right
hand therefore Place yourself on the left of him whom you desire to Honour:
but if three walk together the middest place is the most Honourable the wall
is usually given to the most worthy if two walk together
- If anyone far surpasses others, either in age, Estate, or Merit, yet would
give Place to a meaner than himself in his own lodging or elsewhere the one
ought not to except it. So he on the other part should not use much
earnestness nor offer it above once or twice.
- To one that is your equal, or not much inferior you are to give the cheif
Place in your Lodging and he to who 'tis offered ought at first to refuse it
but at the second to accept though not without acknowledging his own
unworthiness.
- They that are in Dignity or in office have in all places Preceedency but
whilst they are Young they ought to respect those that are their equals in
Birth or other Qualitys, though they have no Publick charge.
- It is good Manners to prefer them to whom we Speak before ourselves,
especially if they be above us with whom in no Sort we ought to begin.
- Let your Discourse with Men of Business be Short and Comprehensive.
- Artificers & Persons of low Degree ought not to use many ceremonies to
Lords, or Others of high Degree but Respect and highly Honour them, and
those of high Degree ought to treat them with affibility and Courtesie,
without Arrogancy
- In Speaking to men of Quality do not lean nor Look them full in the Face,
nor approach too near them at lest Keep a full Pace from them
- In visiting the Sick, do not Presently play the Physicion if you be not
Knowing therein
- In writing or Speaking, give to every Person his due Title according to
his Degree & the Custom of the Place.
- Strive not with your Superiors in argument, but always Submit your
Judgment to others with Modesty
- Undertake not to Teach your equal in the art himself Professes; it Savours
of arrogancy
- Let thy ceremonies in Courtesie be proper to the Dignity of his place with
whom thou conversest for it is absurd to act ye same with a Clown and a
Prince
- Do not express Joy before one sick or in pain for that contrary Passion
will aggravate his Misery.
- When a man does all he can though it Succeeds not well blame not him that
did it.
- Being to advise or reprehend any one, consider whether it ought to be in
publick or in Private; presently, or at Some other time in what terms to do
it & in reproving Shew no Sign of Cholar but do it with all Sweetness
and Mildness
- Take all Admonitions thankfully in what Time or Place Soever given but
afterwards not being culpable take a Time & Place convenient to let him
know it that gave them.
- Mock not nor Jest at anything of Importance break no Jest that are Sharp
Biting, and if you Deliver any thing witty and Pleasant abstain from
Laughing thereat yourself.
- Wherein you reprove Another be unblameable yourself; for example is more
prevalent than Precepts
- Use no Reproachfull Language against any one neither Curse nor Reville
- Be not hasty to believe flying Reports to the Disparagement of any
- Wear not your Cloths, foul, unript or Dusty but See they be Brush'd once
every day at least and take heed that you approach not to any uncleaness
- In your Apparel be Modest and endeavor to accomodate Nature, rather than
to procure Admiration keep to the Fashion of your equals Such as are Civil
and orderly with respect to Times and Places
- Run not in the Streets, neither go too slowly nor with Mouth open go not
Shaking your arms kick not the earth with your feet, go not upon the Toes,
nor in a Dancing fashion.
- Play not the Peacock, looking every where about you, to See if you be well
Deck't, if your Shoes fit well if your Stockings Sit neatly, and Cloths
handsomely.
- Eat not in the Streets, nor in ye House, out of Season
- Associate yourself with Men of good Quality if you Esteem your own
Reputation; for 'tis better to be alone than in bad Company
- In walking up and Down in a House, only with One in Company if he be
Greater than yourself, at the first give him the Right hand and Stop not
till he does, and be not the first that turns, and when you do turn let it
be with your face towards him, if he be a Man of Great Quality, walk not
with him Cheek by Joul but Somewhat behind him; but yet in Such a Manner
that he may easily Speak to you
- Let your Conversation be without Malice or Envy, for 'tis a Sign of a
Tractable and Commendable Nature: And in all Causes of Passion admit Reason
to Govern
- Never express anything unbecoming, nor Act against ye Rules Moral before
your inferiours
- Be not immodest in urging your Friends to Discover a Secret
- Utter not base and frivilous things amongst grave and Learn'd Men nor very
Difficult Questians or Subjects, among the Ignorant or things hard to be
believed, Stuff not your Discourse with Sentences amongst your Betters nor
Equals
- Speak not of doleful Things in a Time of Mirth or at the Table; Speak not
of Melancholy Things as Death and Wounds, and if others Mention them Change
if you can the Discourse tell not your Dreams, but to your intimate Friend
- A Man ought not to value himself of his Achievements, or rare Qualities of
wit; much less of his riches Virtue or Kindred
- Break not a Jest where none takes pleasure in mirth Laugh not aloud, nor
at all without Occasion, deride no mans Misfortune, tho' there seem to be
Some cause
- Speak not injurious Words neither in Jest nor Earnest Scoff at none
although they give Occasion
- Be not forward but fiendly and Courteous; the first to Salute hear and
answer & be not Pensive when it's a time to Converse
- Detract not from others neither be excessive in Commanding
- Go not thither, where you know not, whether you Shall be Welcome or not.
Give not Advice whth being Ask'd & when desired do it briefly
- If two contend together take not the part of either unconstrained; and be
not obstinate in your own Opinions, in Things indifferent be of the Major
Side
- Reprehend not the imperfections of others for that belongs to Parents
Masters and Superiours
- Gaze not on the marks or blemishes of Others and ask not how they came.
What you may Speak in Secret to your Friend deliver not before others
- Speak not in an unknown Tongue in Company but in your own Language and
that as those of Quality do and not as ye Vulgar; Sublime matters treat
Seriuosly
- Think before you Speak pronounce not impertfectly nor bring out your Words
too hastily but orderly & distinctly
- When Another Speaks be attentive your Self and disturb not the Audience if
any hesitate in his Words help him not nor Prompt him without desired,
Interrupt him not, nor Answer him till his Speech be ended
- In the midst of Discourse ask not of what one treateth but if you Perceive
any Stop because of your coming you may well intreat him gently to Proceed:
If a Person of Quality comes in while your Conversing it's handsome to
Repeat what was said before
- While you are talking, Point not with your Finger at him of Whom you
Discourse nor Approach too near him to whom you talk especially to his face
- Treat with men at fit Times about Business & Whisper not in the
Company of Others
- Make no Comparisons and if any of the Company be Commended for any Brave
act of Vertue, commend not another for the Same
- Be not apt to relate News if you know not the truth thereof. In
Discoursing of things you Have heard Name not your Author always A Secret
Discover not
- Be not Tedious in Discourse or in reading unless you find the Company
pleased therewith
- Be not Curious to Know the Affairs of Others neither approach those that
Speak in Private
- Undertake not what you cannot Perform but be Carefull to keep your Promise
- When you deliver a matter do it without Passion & with Discretion,
however mean ye Person be you do it too
- When your Superiours talk to any Body, hearken not, neither Speak nor
Laugh
- In Company of these of Higher Quality than yourself Speak not till you are
ask'd a Question then Stand upright put of your Hat & Answer in few
words
- In Disputes, be not So Desireous to Overcome as not to give Liberty to
each one to deliver his Opinion and Submit to ye Judgement of ye Major Part
especially if they are Juudges of the Dispute
- Let thy carriage be such as becomes a Man Grave Settled and attentive to
that which is spoken. Contradict not at every turn what others Say
- Be not tedious in Discourse, make not many Digressions, nor repeat often
the Same manner of Discourse
- Speak not Evil of the absent for it is unjust
- Being Set at meat Scratch not neither Spit Cough or blow your Nose except
there's a Necessity for it
- Make no Shew of taking great Delight in your Victuals, Feed not with
Greediness; cut your Bread with a Knife, lean not on the Table, neither find
fault with what you Eat
- Take no Salt or cut Bread with your Knife Greasy
- Entertaining any one at table it is decent to present him with meat,
Undertake not to help others undesired by ye Master
- If you Soak bread in the Sauce let it be no more than what you put in your
Mouth at a time and blow not your broth at Table but Stay till Cools of it
Self
- Put not your meat to your Mouth with your Knife in your hand neither Spit
forth the Stones of any fruit Pye upon a Dish nor Cast anything under the
table
- It's unbecoming to Stoop much to ones Meat Keep your Fingers clean &
when foul wipe them on a Corner of your Table Napkin
- Put not another bit into your Mouth til the former be Swallowed let not
your Morsels be too big for the Gowls.
- Drink not nor talk with your mouth full neither Gaze about you while you
are a Drinking
- Drink not too leisurely nor yet too hastily. Before and after Drinking
wipe your Lips breath not then or Ever with too great a Noise, for its
uncivil
- Cleanse not your teeth with the Table Cloth Napkin Fork or Knife but if
Others do it let it be done with a Pick Tooth
- Rince not your Mouth in the Presence of Others
- It is out of use to call upon the Company often to Eat nor need you Drink
to others every Time you Drink
- In Company of your Betters be not longer in eating than they are lay not
your Arm but only your hand upon the table
- It belongs to ye Chiefest in Company to unfold his Napkin and fall to Meat
first, But he ought then to Begin in time & to Dispatch with Dexterity
that ye Slowest may have time allowed him
- Be not Angry at Table whatever happens & if you have reason to be so,
shew it not but on a Cheerfull Countenance especially if there be Strangers
for a Good Humour makes one Dish of Meat a Feast
- Set not yourself at ye upper of ye Table but if it be your Due or that ye
Master of ye house will have it So, Contend not, least you Should Trouble ye
Company
- If others talk at Table be attentive but talk not with Meat in your Mouth
- When you Speak of God or His Attributes, let it be Seriously & with
Reverence. Honour & Obey your Natural Parents altho they be Poor
- Let your Recreations be Manfull not Sinfull.
- Labour to keep alive in your Breast that Little Spark of Celestial fire
Called Conscience.